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About Deviant Artist Member Faith, A Girl Stuck Eternally in Faerie-LandFemale/United States Group :iconsuperduperartgroup: SuperDuperArtGroup
 
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  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Assorted tracks from Dragon Age: Inquisition
  • Reading: Dungeon and Dragons 5th Edition Player's Guide
  • Watching: A blank Word screen
  • Playing: Pokemon X, while everyone has the new versions
  • Drinking: Tears
Sometimes I wish I could know what not crying every night feels like. And it doesn't have to be anything serious, it just washes over my like tidal waves and ceases to stop. 
I just  find more ways to make myself hurt, and then try to find ways to validate them. I know that I AM the cause for my suffering and my emotions. I know I need to stop but I don't know if I even want to stop myself from mental mutilation. 
Not easy to write out, because I dont even know how to properly explain what Im feeling. You would think a Writing Arts major would be able to comprehend her words more clearly. The crippling negativity that is chronic and always present in the back of my head or an annoying itch from a clothing tag you forgot to rip off. 
Sometimes a shorter journal entry is better. I'm not sure what in life is for the best. 

- Faith 
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Listening to: Assorted tracks from Dragon Age: Inquisition
  • Reading: Dungeon and Dragons 5th Edition Player's Guide
  • Watching: Christmas lights flicker on my tree
  • Playing: Dragon Age: Inquisition
  • Drinking: Chocolate almond milk
First off: DRAGON AGE INQUISITION WHY ARE YOU SO HARD ON EASY SETTING?!

Second: why is the soundtrack so damn beautiful? Its like theres a song for each and every moment in my tabletop RPG campaign. 

December and January have been chock full of cosplay progress simply because I'm home from school for a prolonged period of time. My basement looks like an utter mess, with paint spilt over a table and EVA foam tossed in itty bitty scraps on the floor. Heck, I've even manned up (or is it womaned up?) and begun to play with Worbla (which is hella expensive by the way). 

The projects I'm tackling now is a rennaisance/Venetian styled Red Mage from classing Final Fantasy and my beloved faun druid character I'll soon be playing in a Dungeons and Dragons game. She's the latest drawing I've posted up. 

But what I want to know is a question for all of you watchers out there in Internet Land: What would YOU want to see me cosplay as next? I have some ideas but they're all frighteningly large and scare me a lot. Have you seen a Dragon Priest from Skyrim?! 

So I ask ya'll, what would you like to see me do after Red Mage and Minma (thats my druid)? 
Lolth's Chosen Daughter by flamingchibi
Lolth's Chosen Daughter
So in got bored one day and decided to make a new Dungeons and Dragons characters for a friends game. Turned into a faun Druid raised by the nobility of dark elves because she survived a poisonous spider bite. Spiders are a creature of their goddess Lolth.

Love this character! I'm even making a costume for her to wear at conventions.
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  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Listening to: Caffeine from RWBY
  • Reading: Dungeon and Dragons 5th Edition Player's Guide
  • Watching: Christmas lights flicker on my tree
  • Playing: Pokemon X, while everyone has the new versions
  • Drinking: Apple Cider
It really has not been a terribly wonderful year. 

That's a really pessimistic way of looking at things, but at my core I've always been that way. Even though people say I have a heart of gold, it must be buried underneath layers of dirty diamond, clay and hellish flames before someone actually gets there. I can't say I've seen any progression of my mood, in fact I can confidently state that it has regressed and become worse. Apparently it started in spring time and just became chaotic along the way, resulting in the sniveling mess that's writing this whiny emo-esque post as we speak while drinking cold apple cider.

At least the cider's sweet. 

I've been loosing hair from stress, and not naturally either. I don't know why but I've been pulling out strands of my hair when a sudden whim comes over me. And honestly, it feels like I'm relieving my pain and worries when I do. RIP and it's soon gone followed by a sigh of relief. I have a decent sized bald spot on my head where I have to wear a headband now until it all grows back but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. 

Then I've also re-gained weight. I'm nearly back to the heavy pounds I used to have when I was younger, and I vowed to never get to that point again in my life. But now my favorite vests don't fit me; shirts don't button up and tees don't fit quite the right way anymore. It hurts, to look at yourself in the mirror and to hate what you see: a patch of skin on your scalp, two sets of rolls on your sides and bags under your eyes indicating your situation. 

It's like my cosplay friends have gotten significantly better, even winning some minor awards at conventions. And I just feel even worse about my stuff. I work just as hard on my pieces, even more so because I'm not home all the time. What about me? Doesn't my months of hard effort matter? Is it because my tits aren't flying out of my top? It's discouraging. It's also pathetic when people who do original ideas are more or less shunned for that and not paid any mind. 

It's just been rough, people. And it hurts too much. 
  • Mood: Gloomy
  • Listening to: Calling You by Blue October
  • Playing: Tabletop Roleplaying Games
  • Drinking: Cherry Limeaid Fruit Refreshers
I dont know if its because its the second month of school, stress with mid terms approaching or something else but my stomach has been all in knots. You know that feeling, the one you get when you just know something is wrong but not quite sure.

Actually, I have a pretty decent idea. 

I'm pretty sure its gotta do with my writing. Im a writing major and if I cant do that correctly or to the standards I have, how am I going to get anywhere? Nothing I do makes me happy anymore: costuming, drawing, any of that stuff I used to take such pride and joy in. It hardly provides me with any of that. And the things that do, like my tabletop gaming, is sporadic with how games are constantly getting cancelled on me or people dont make it to the games blah blah blah blah.

It's not a fun thing to have in your system. It brings me down too much. It makes me anti social (but then again, when was I a social butterfly anyway?). And honestly, its crippling. 

This mood, this feeling, its at the point where it consumes your waking time when you are not trying to fight off any other feelings that may try to come at you, even happiness. 

Maybe I'm just babbling right now. I don't care. 
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Assorted tracks from Dragon Age: Inquisition
  • Reading: Dungeon and Dragons 5th Edition Player's Guide
  • Watching: A blank Word screen
  • Playing: Pokemon X, while everyone has the new versions
  • Drinking: Tears
Sometimes I wish I could know what not crying every night feels like. And it doesn't have to be anything serious, it just washes over my like tidal waves and ceases to stop. 
I just  find more ways to make myself hurt, and then try to find ways to validate them. I know that I AM the cause for my suffering and my emotions. I know I need to stop but I don't know if I even want to stop myself from mental mutilation. 
Not easy to write out, because I dont even know how to properly explain what Im feeling. You would think a Writing Arts major would be able to comprehend her words more clearly. The crippling negativity that is chronic and always present in the back of my head or an annoying itch from a clothing tag you forgot to rip off. 
Sometimes a shorter journal entry is better. I'm not sure what in life is for the best. 

- Faith 

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flamingchibi's Profile Picture
flamingchibi
Faith, A Girl Stuck Eternally in Faerie-Land
Artist
United States
- Place of Residence: USA, Earth, Milky Way
- Amateur Cosplayer, Dragon Artist, Perpetual Weirdo

Good day, boys and girls of every age! The name is Faith, or 'flaminngchibi', as you may like to call me by.

What to know about me?
- Self-taught artist who mostly draws dragons and Celtic art. Mostly.
- I take commissions for the two said topics above.
- I do some cosplay, which I constantly am thinking of and trying to attempt doing despite being in college.
- My favorite game, hands-down, is Okami. If you'd ever like to talk about said game, please Note me! Second most liked game is the Kingdom Hearts series.
- Anime Preference: Ayakashi Mononoke, Black Butler, Fairy Tail
Interests

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Comments


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:iconthrone-of-the-roses:
Throne-of-the-Roses Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
thank you so much for the fav ^^
Reply
:iconartemisiadark:
ArtemisiaDark Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
Thank you for the fav ! :aww: :heart:
Reply
:iconkeiko22:
Keiko22 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :glomp: I haven't heard from you in a while, how's life treating you hun? :hug:
Reply
:iconflamingchibi:
flamingchibi Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
Is much stressful over here, with how I move into my college dorm on Sunday! 
Reply
:iconkeiko22:
Keiko22 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
that's awesome!! What are you gonna study? :D
Reply
:iconflamingchibi:
flamingchibi Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014
Writing Arts! IMMA BE SMARTEST PERSON.

Today's been tough though. Last day I get to see my good friends over here before I go away, and I'm hurting all over because that also means I wont see my boyfriend for a while....
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconthese-grey-skies:
these-grey-skies Featured By Owner May 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Faith! (haha Hey remember me?!) I saw you on the anime next group! You going next weekend?
Reply
:iconflamingchibi:
flamingchibi Featured By Owner May 31, 2014
Yes I am! : D
Reply
:iconthese-grey-skies:
these-grey-skies Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I added you on Facebook! I am too. We should meet up for a bit or something. :3
Reply
:icondocskavenger:
DocSkavenger Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I'm glad you appreciated my work! :D
docskavenger.deviantart.com/ar…
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